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Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Goes
Ouch
Story
Infused
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Date
Firsts
Sister
First
Drive
Love
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
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The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.
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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
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The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
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Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
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The man who accused Richard Simmons of slapping him in an airport has dropped the assault charge. Dropped it! Upon hearing the news, Simmons sadly responded, You mean I'm not going to prison?
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There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.
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When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
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I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.
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That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
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