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Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Muscle
July
Island
Islands
Muscles
Nervous
Sphincter
Football
Buchanan
Fire
Tighter

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How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
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Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
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A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.
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If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
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I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
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There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.
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Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
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That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?
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Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
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I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
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Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
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There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
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The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
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