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Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Muscle
July
Island
Islands
Muscles
Nervous
Sphincter
Football
Buchanan
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Tighter

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I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.
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Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?
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Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.
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Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
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Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!
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Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
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Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their clothes with? Apar-Tide!
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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