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That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Berries
Tour
Findings
Finding
Football
Higher
Punt
Fact
Marion
Facts
Berry

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When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
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Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!
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The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.
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I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.
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I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
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It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
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Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.
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The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.
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What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?
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If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
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Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.
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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
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Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
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