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When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Retiring
Older
Moon
Football
Cuneiform
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Warren
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Tomb
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Retire

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How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
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That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
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The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
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Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
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I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
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Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.
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Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?
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There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.
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You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
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There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.
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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
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Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
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It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
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There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.
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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
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