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When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Mean
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Moon
Football
Cuneiform
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I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
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Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
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I'd rather be funny than wise.
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Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!
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In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.
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Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
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Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.
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Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
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I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what he says. And there are times I think, Oh, my God. How could he say that.
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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.
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Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.
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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
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A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
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How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
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Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
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