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Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Hey
Football
Called
Bigs
Time
Cunningham
Warhol
Andy

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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TV evangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination, but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and twenties.
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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
Dennis Miller
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Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.
Dennis Miller
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I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.
Dennis Miller
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A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'
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If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
Dennis Miller
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
Dennis Miller
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
Dennis Miller
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
Dennis Miller
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Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.
Dennis Miller
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It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.
Dennis Miller
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It's wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.
Dennis Miller
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I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called The Right Hand Stuff. I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip.
Dennis Miller
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In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that 'if I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
Dennis Miller
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Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
Dennis Miller
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In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.
Dennis Miller
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The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.
Dennis Miller
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
Dennis Miller
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There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.
Dennis Miller