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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Mike
Havens
Tried
Haven
Football
Seen
Recite
Since
Tyson
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Alphabet

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
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Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.
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When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.
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It's wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
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I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.
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Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.
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The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.
Dennis Miller
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Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
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I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.
Dennis Miller
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Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
Dennis Miller
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The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done.
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Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
Dennis Miller