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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
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Tyson
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More quotes by Dennis Miller

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If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
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Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
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Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
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The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.
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I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller
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The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done.
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Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
Dennis Miller
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There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.
Dennis Miller
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The Patriots deflated balls are but an allegory for America's deflated balls in dealings with Putin, the Mullahs in Iran, and Islamic terrorists.
Dennis Miller
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Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
Dennis Miller
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
Dennis Miller
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President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.
Dennis Miller
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
Dennis Miller
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
Dennis Miller
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller
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Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
Dennis Miller