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The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
May
Quarterback
Right
Center
Much
Spending
Time
Lead
Behinds
Football
Troop
Behind
Jeopardize
Boys
Scout
More quotes by Dennis Miller
When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.
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My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
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The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.
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At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school years that it was a safe, nice, warm, fair, feeling place... but it can get brutal when it gets competitive. Especially when you succeed. Watch the detractors come out of the walls at that point.
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Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
Dennis Miller
The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done.
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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
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With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.
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That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
Dennis Miller
I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and I often do it in a loud falsetto while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and a coin changer.
Dennis Miller
Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
Dennis Miller
Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.
Dennis Miller
That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
Dennis Miller
South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their clothes with? Apar-Tide!
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Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
Dennis Miller
To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.
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