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The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 70
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Behinds
Football
Troop
Behind
Jeopardize
Boys
Scout
May
Quarterback
Right
Center
Much
Spending
Time
Lead
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Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.
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It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
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I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
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I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
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In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
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Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?
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A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'
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Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
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Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
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I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.
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What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?
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The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
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Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.
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Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
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