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There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Sense
Slowly
Around
Stupidity
People
Rage
Victim
Chalk
Atheism
Outline
Politics
Outlines
Common
Identify
Fear
Drawn
More quotes by Dennis Miller
I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
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I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
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Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.
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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
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It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.
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Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal wall weakens and cannot provide adequate support to the urethra, thus causing leaking. The good news is that women with SUI have many different treatment options available to them.
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Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.
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I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and I often do it in a loud falsetto while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and a coin changer.
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If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
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The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.
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Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?
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I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
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If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.
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