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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Begins
Realize
Realizing
Comedy
System
Education
Problem
Educational
More quotes by Dennis Miller
Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
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Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
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Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
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Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.
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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
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The Patriots deflated balls are but an allegory for America's deflated balls in dealings with Putin, the Mullahs in Iran, and Islamic terrorists.
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
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I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
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Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
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That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
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The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.
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Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.
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I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what he says. And there are times I think, Oh, my God. How could he say that.
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Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
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