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Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Kerouac
Jack
Cool
Idea
Ideas

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.
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If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
Dennis Miller
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Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.
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The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
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Other than the bombs they strap to their chests, Ive got no idea what makes the Palestinians tick.
Dennis Miller
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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
Dennis Miller
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Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.
Dennis Miller
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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
Dennis Miller
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller
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The man who accused Richard Simmons of slapping him in an airport has dropped the assault charge. Dropped it! Upon hearing the news, Simmons sadly responded, You mean I'm not going to prison?
Dennis Miller
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Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw this guy. ... [He's a] bad guy.
Dennis Miller
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That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
Dennis Miller
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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
Dennis Miller
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What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?
Dennis Miller
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At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school years that it was a safe, nice, warm, fair, feeling place... but it can get brutal when it gets competitive. Especially when you succeed. Watch the detractors come out of the walls at that point.
Dennis Miller
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A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
Dennis Miller
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
Dennis Miller
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I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
Dennis Miller
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Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
Dennis Miller