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President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Firsts
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Address
First
Figures
Addresses
Trying
Gave
Reaction
People
However
Presidential
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Bush
President
English
Spanish
Ever
Radio
Mixed

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If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.
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It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
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Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal wall weakens and cannot provide adequate support to the urethra, thus causing leaking. The good news is that women with SUI have many different treatment options available to them.
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Other than the bombs they strap to their chests, Ive got no idea what makes the Palestinians tick.
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There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.
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In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.
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I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called The Right Hand Stuff. I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip.
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The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.
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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
Dennis Miller
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That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
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Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
Dennis Miller
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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
Dennis Miller
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Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw this guy. ... [He's a] bad guy.
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Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
Dennis Miller