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What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Pledge
Constantly
Enjoying
Humor
Articles
Comedy
Heads
Show
Guilt
Funny
Drive
Enjoy
Keeps
Hammering
Shows
Playboy
Reason
Fully

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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
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South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their clothes with? Apar-Tide!
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A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
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Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
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Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.
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I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what he says. And there are times I think, Oh, my God. How could he say that.
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Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.
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Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
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What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?
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Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
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Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.
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I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless.
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I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless.
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The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.
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My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
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The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.
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