Quote

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

Dennis Miller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Comedian
Shouldn
Sake
Trust
Comedy
Stand
Enough
Viewers
Hips

More quotes by Dennis Miller

Image
Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
Dennis Miller
Image
Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
Dennis Miller
Image
Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
Image
You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
Dennis Miller
Image
So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim.
Dennis Miller
Image
That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?
Dennis Miller
Image
The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
Dennis Miller
Image
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
Dennis Miller
Image
Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
Dennis Miller
Image
Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.
Dennis Miller
Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
Dennis Miller
Image
Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller
Image
I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
Dennis Miller
Image
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
Dennis Miller
Image
To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
Dennis Miller
Image
A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
Dennis Miller
Image
There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.
Dennis Miller
Image
America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
Dennis Miller
Image
A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'
Dennis Miller
Image
That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
Dennis Miller