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You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Groceries
Eleven
Habits
Eating
Habit
Humor
Cart
Funny
Carts
Use
Grocery

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It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
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I'd rather be funny than wise.
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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
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The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.
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I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.
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Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.
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So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim.
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The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
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Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
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I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
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Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.
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It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.
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Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.
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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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