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Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
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Bruce
Like
Edge
Dress
Bacall
Edges
Lenny
Dresses
Carrot
Rivers
Lauren
Telling
Joan
Wrong
Carrots
More quotes by Dennis Miller
It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
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What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
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If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
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Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?
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I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
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We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep.
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Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
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After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.
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I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.
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Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.
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I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless.
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.
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Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
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Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.
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When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.
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How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
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The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.
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If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.
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