Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
Dennis Miller
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Funny
Like
World
Checkers
Witty
Bush
Chess
More quotes by Dennis Miller
In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that 'if I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
Dennis Miller
I'd rather be funny than wise.
Dennis Miller
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
Dennis Miller
Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal wall weakens and cannot provide adequate support to the urethra, thus causing leaking. The good news is that women with SUI have many different treatment options available to them.
Dennis Miller
There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.
Dennis Miller
And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
Dennis Miller
The Patriots deflated balls are but an allegory for America's deflated balls in dealings with Putin, the Mullahs in Iran, and Islamic terrorists.
Dennis Miller
Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
Dennis Miller
With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.
Dennis Miller
I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.
Dennis Miller
Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
Dennis Miller
Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
Dennis Miller
Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller
I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called The Right Hand Stuff. I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip.
Dennis Miller
I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless.
Dennis Miller
I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
Dennis Miller
I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless.
Dennis Miller
To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
Dennis Miller
I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
Dennis Miller
Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
Dennis Miller
