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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Comedy
Humanity
Wash
Funny
Fence
Used
Hanging
Human
Across
Humans
Beings
Internet
Humor

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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
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Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
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I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.
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If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
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It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
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Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
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I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
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Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
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Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
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At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school years that it was a safe, nice, warm, fair, feeling place... but it can get brutal when it gets competitive. Especially when you succeed. Watch the detractors come out of the walls at that point.
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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
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Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?
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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
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We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep.
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.
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With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.
Dennis Miller