Quote

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

Dennis Miller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Keeping
Planet
Planets
Nation
Nations
Jobs
Gary
Next
Highways
Important
Parenting

More quotes by Dennis Miller

Image
I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
Dennis Miller
Image
I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
Dennis Miller
Image
Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
Dennis Miller
Image
Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller
Image
My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
Dennis Miller
Image
Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
Image
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
Image
A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
Dennis Miller
Image
Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.
Dennis Miller
Image
If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
Dennis Miller
Image
America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
Dennis Miller
Image
The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
Dennis Miller
Image
Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.
Dennis Miller
Image
How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
Dennis Miller
Image
What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
Image
Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
Dennis Miller
Image
We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep.
Dennis Miller
Image
TV evangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination, but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and twenties.
Dennis Miller
Image
I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.
Dennis Miller
Image
By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
Dennis Miller