Quote

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Dennis Miller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Funny
Nightstand
Perks
Elvis
Redneck
Elected
Holds
Office
Humor

More quotes by Dennis Miller

Image
Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
Dennis Miller
Image
Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.
Dennis Miller
Image
Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller
Image
If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
Dennis Miller
Image
Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
Dennis Miller
Image
They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.
Dennis Miller
Image
Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
Image
If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
Dennis Miller
Image
Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
Dennis Miller
Image
South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their clothes with? Apar-Tide!
Dennis Miller
Image
I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
Dennis Miller
Image
I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
Dennis Miller
Image
Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
Dennis Miller
Image
It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.
Dennis Miller
Image
For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
Dennis Miller
Image
Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?
Dennis Miller
Image
It's wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.
Dennis Miller
Image
Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
Dennis Miller
Image
The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
Dennis Miller
Image
Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
Dennis Miller