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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 70
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Lying
Wisconsin
Cheesy
Cheese
Washington
Politics

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The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
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Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
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I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and I often do it in a loud falsetto while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and a coin changer.
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TV evangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination, but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and twenties.
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I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless.
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Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.
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A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
Dennis Miller
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The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
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There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.
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How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
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We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep.
Dennis Miller
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It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
Dennis Miller
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The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
Dennis Miller