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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Something
Balloons
Make
Electricity
Expensive
Cost
Hair
Days
Doe
Much
Balloon

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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
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Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
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Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
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Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
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Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.
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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
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Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.
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Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
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A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
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When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.
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It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.
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Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
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Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.
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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
Dennis Miller