Quote

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.

Dennis Miller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Would
Stay
Immigrants
Comedy
Illegal
Millions
Allow
Called
Million
United
Plan
White
Looked
Ugliest
House
Citizens
Mexicans
States
Plans
Marry

More quotes by Dennis Miller

Image
Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.
Dennis Miller
Image
If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.
Dennis Miller
Image
If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.
Dennis Miller
Image
The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
Dennis Miller
Image
We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep.
Dennis Miller
Image
What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.
Dennis Miller
Image
Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
Dennis Miller
Image
I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.
Dennis Miller
Image
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
Dennis Miller
Image
The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.
Dennis Miller
Image
Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!
Dennis Miller
Image
Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.
Dennis Miller
Image
By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
Dennis Miller
Image
Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.
Dennis Miller
Image
Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
Dennis Miller
Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
Dennis Miller
Image
If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
Dennis Miller
Image
I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless.
Dennis Miller
Image
Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller