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Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?

Denis Leary

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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
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More quotes by Denis Leary

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If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in.
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There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.
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When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with No Cure For Cancer.
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I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare.
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If you want a long-term relationship that doesn't require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there's no secret you really have to appreciate the person every single day.
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In addition to my cousin, there were 30 or 40 guys I grew up with who became firefighters as well. So, I've been around firefighters all my life.
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I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.
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Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold.
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I think we're going to carry the 'Ice Age's up to 'Ice Age 15,' which means basically they'll be in the present decade.
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That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.
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Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual
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Having dealt with a lot of real firefighters, I know there are a lot of guys who, for lack of a better term, become addicted to the grief because it has kept them connected to these guys that they felt responsible for having lost.
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Crisis doesn't create character it reveals it.
Denis Leary
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Most people think, Life sucks, and then you die. I disagree. I think life sucks. Then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission, and then all of the sudden you have a stroke. You can't move your right side. And then, maybe, you die.
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There's no male Oprah.
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I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory.
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There's no way around it, drama is very difficult to shoot. It's very heavy and something that you carry with you for the course of the day.
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The key thing is to get that one splash - that one song or that one video for a song - that catches people's eyes. Because it's all digital content now.
Denis Leary
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White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.
Denis Leary
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I did 12 years with nuns, you know. So I came out of it going, like, 'I think Jesus is all right.' The rest of it I think stinks to the high heavens.
Denis Leary