Quote

Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?

Denis Leary

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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Maybe
Pool
Times
Swim
Next
Twenty
Someone
Twenties
Thursday
Find
Married
Lewis
Enough
Gets
Tuesday
Time
Dead
Jerry
Wife
Swimming

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Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual
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I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.
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I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli? Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.
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My brother and I tortured my mother growing up.
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I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one.
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I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.
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If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.
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I remember 9/11 we had 'Comics Come Home' about a month after those events. That night, even the comedians were concerned. Would the audience be ready to laugh? It was a release for everyone.
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That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.
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I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh.
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When I first got famous, Greg Dulli was also just starting to cook with the Afghan Whigs, and because of the MTV awards I met Dave Grohl and Nirvana and all these rock and roll bands. So I had experience with what it was like when people were taking off at that time.
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All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
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My cousin Jerry Lucey and five other firefighters died in a warehouse fire in Worcester, Mass. - my hometown - right in the middle of our old neighborhood downtown when a homeless couple started a fire to keep warm and the entire building went up. My cousin died trying to save homeless people who had already left the building.
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If you want a long-term relationship that doesn't require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there's no secret you really have to appreciate the person every single day.
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Most people think, Life sucks, and then you die. I disagree. I think life sucks. Then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission, and then all of the sudden you have a stroke. You can't move your right side. And then, maybe, you die.
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I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?
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I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will.
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I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again. I couldn't take it, OK!
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You just can't win. Men have very recent land mines in their heads. Women have recorded conversations and photographs in their heads from 15 years ago.
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Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used.
Denis Leary