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Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold.
Denis Leary
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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Cold
Funny
Best
Think
Henson
Thinking
Aspirin
Personally
Anybody
Humor
More quotes by Denis Leary
Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool.
Denis Leary
That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.
Denis Leary
I just think it's difficult for them to see the forest for the trees right now, which I can't blame them for, given the circumstances they found themselves in.
Denis Leary
I think we're going to carry the 'Ice Age's up to 'Ice Age 15,' which means basically they'll be in the present decade.
Denis Leary
Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us.
Denis Leary
Liz [Gillies] doesn't really listen to anything new, besides Adele, Ariana Grande, and stuff like that. She loves '70s music and old '60s songs. She loves songwriters from the '70s that I hate, like Jim Croce and James Taylor, and she loves Stevie Nicks and old jazz classics.
Denis Leary
The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them.
Denis Leary
I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.
Denis Leary
I needed someone really intense, but also somebody with a lot of theatrical credibility.
Denis Leary
White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.
Denis Leary
If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is.
Denis Leary
You just can't win. Men have very recent land mines in their heads. Women have recorded conversations and photographs in their heads from 15 years ago.
Denis Leary
If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.
Denis Leary
I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.
Denis Leary
Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction.
Denis Leary
I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time.
Denis Leary
My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.
Denis Leary
I studied acting in school and then of course couldn't get an acting job.
Denis Leary
No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever.
Denis Leary
I went to school with Steven Wright who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought if these guys can do it then so can I.
Denis Leary
