Quote

I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man!

Denis Leary

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Humor
Pack
Funny
Packs
Two
Cigarette
Around
Neck
Men
Necks
Time
Smoke
Nine
Gonna
Cigarettes

More quotes by Denis Leary

Image
If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in.
Denis Leary
Image
Julieanne Smolinksi has a history in rock journalism and she's a huge rock 'n' roll fan, and she was a huge fan of Ava (Elaine Hendrix) and Gigi (Elizabeth Gillies) and of the actresses. I was really lucky to get her, in between seasons on Grace and Frankie.
Denis Leary
Image
You really want to have a back-up plan, so when you don't feel like acting, or you're getting older and settling down, you can produce your own stuff. So that's when I set about forming my own company and getting creative control.
Denis Leary
Image
Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces.
Denis Leary
Image
I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better.
Denis Leary
Image
If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.
Denis Leary
Image
On a movie, you have a great time, and you're really enjoying the work, and then everybody is done and goes their separate ways, and you maybe never get to work with those people again.
Denis Leary
Image
Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used.
Denis Leary
Image
People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes!
Denis Leary
Image
You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the time to explain it to people, it's just part of what I do.
Denis Leary
Image
Worrying about tomorrow is the best way to screw up today.
Denis Leary
Image
When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me.
Denis Leary
Image
I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.
Denis Leary
Image
Having dealt with a lot of real firefighters, I know there are a lot of guys who, for lack of a better term, become addicted to the grief because it has kept them connected to these guys that they felt responsible for having lost.
Denis Leary
Image
I remember 9/11 we had 'Comics Come Home' about a month after those events. That night, even the comedians were concerned. Would the audience be ready to laugh? It was a release for everyone.
Denis Leary
Image
If you want a long-term relationship that doesn't require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there's no secret you really have to appreciate the person every single day.
Denis Leary
Image
Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have every other flavor but coffee-flavored coffee. They have mochaccino, frappaccino, cappuccino, al pacino...Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup.
Denis Leary
Image
I love to smoke. I love to eat red meat. I'll only eat red meat that comes from cows who smoke, ok!? Special cows they grow in Virginia with voice boxes in their necks. Moo
Denis Leary
Image
I think all priests should be married.
Denis Leary
Image
I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies.
Denis Leary