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I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!

Denis Leary

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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Funny
Love
Packs
Smoke
Seven
Humor
Thousand

More quotes by Denis Leary

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We drink and we die and continue to drink.
Denis Leary
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I had a relationship with an Italian chick that was built on just fighting and sex. As much as all women won't let go of stuff, Italian girls won't let go of anything. And she punched really hard. I got tired of the arguing it took to get to the sex.
Denis Leary
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I really want to do a western film. It's one of my favorite movie genres of all time.
Denis Leary
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If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.
Denis Leary
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I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.
Denis Leary
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I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff.
Denis Leary
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This is the most exciting place in the world to live. Oh yeah! There are so many ways to die in New York City! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes, construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks, manhole covers blowing up and asbestos shooting into the sky.
Denis Leary
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Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.
Denis Leary
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Everybody's vying for people's attention in terms of eyeballs, earholes, and dollars.
Denis Leary
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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.
Denis Leary
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I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!
Denis Leary
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I love to smoke. I love to eat red meat. I'll only eat red meat that comes from cows who smoke, ok!? Special cows they grow in Virginia with voice boxes in their necks. Moo
Denis Leary
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I'm a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word.
Denis Leary
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I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh.
Denis Leary
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Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool.
Denis Leary
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If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.
Denis Leary
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I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli? Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.
Denis Leary
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If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is.
Denis Leary
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White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.
Denis Leary
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I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one.
Denis Leary