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I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!

Denis Leary

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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Much
Funny
Spank
Way
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Spanking
Good
Kids
Waving
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Around
Gun
Find
Gets
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Right
Pretty
Trying
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More quotes by Denis Leary

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Life Sucks,get a helmet
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I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli? Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.
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I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.
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Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.
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Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us.
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Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true.
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There's no way around it, drama is very difficult to shoot. It's very heavy and something that you carry with you for the course of the day.
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I'm one of the people that when I wake up I have to do what I do. It's not like I want to do it. I kind of have to do it.
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I think all priests should be married.
Denis Leary
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All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
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I think it's a shame when you come across young actors and musicians who haven't had the time to learn their craft. It doesn't matter if it's acting or music, you really have to learn how to do it from the bottom up because unless you have a great work ethic... fame is a terrible thing to have.
Denis Leary
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I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!
Denis Leary
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I would have to commit a crime and have cops chase me. That would be the only way to get me to jog five miles.
Denis Leary
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Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead - and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God.
Denis Leary
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I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.
Denis Leary
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People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes!
Denis Leary
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If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.
Denis Leary
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I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man!
Denis Leary
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Charlotte Rampling, when she was younger, looked exactly like my wife. That's one of the reasons that when I first saw my wife, my knees buckled. Based on her looks alone, she was already in my kitchen making eggs.
Denis Leary
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My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor, a real dedicated dad. I don't think he ever missed a hockey game I was in.
Denis Leary