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Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool.
Denis Leary
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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Bigger
Uncool
Pay
Incessantly
Looking
Pays
Kids
Incredibly
Better
Expensive
Find
Educated
Boring
Later
More quotes by Denis Leary
It's hard to have a film and television career and do music work at the same time.
Denis Leary
My cousin Jerry Lucey and five other firefighters died in a warehouse fire in Worcester, Mass. - my hometown - right in the middle of our old neighborhood downtown when a homeless couple started a fire to keep warm and the entire building went up. My cousin died trying to save homeless people who had already left the building.
Denis Leary
I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one.
Denis Leary
If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.
Denis Leary
Firefighters don't go on strike.
Denis Leary
I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man!
Denis Leary
I went to school with Steven Wright who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought if these guys can do it then so can I.
Denis Leary
I'm praying for 'Ice Age' 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. Because I really think we can run those characters into the '60s, and I'm talking the 1960s, you know? The Civil Rights Movement. That's what I'm praying for, because then I wouldn't have to do anything else.
Denis Leary
Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.
Denis Leary
Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it.
Denis Leary
The key thing is to get that one splash - that one song or that one video for a song - that catches people's eyes. Because it's all digital content now.
Denis Leary
Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true.
Denis Leary
We've always talked about doing something else and Campbell Scott is always busy and I'm always busy. But when we came up with the idea of doing the potato famine as a hip hop musical, I wanted somebody who was going to bring gravity.
Denis Leary
Sin is in, and so we begin.
Denis Leary
People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes!
Denis Leary
I think it's a shame when you come across young actors and musicians who haven't had the time to learn their craft. It doesn't matter if it's acting or music, you really have to learn how to do it from the bottom up because unless you have a great work ethic... fame is a terrible thing to have.
Denis Leary
I'm really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen.
Denis Leary
I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies.
Denis Leary
The only difference between kids and jungle animals is pants. Kids wear them. Jungle animals don't.
Denis Leary
I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains blown out all over. How could we change the channel after that?
Denis Leary