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When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me.
Denis Leary
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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Stage
Blown
More quotes by Denis Leary
I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.
Denis Leary
I'm a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word.
Denis Leary
Sin is in, and so we begin.
Denis Leary
Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us.
Denis Leary
That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.
Denis Leary
Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold.
Denis Leary
All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
Denis Leary
You just can't win. Men have very recent land mines in their heads. Women have recorded conversations and photographs in their heads from 15 years ago.
Denis Leary
My charity is in the business of helping firefighters in any way that we can. For instance, after 9/11 we were the second-fastest charity to raise and distribute money to the widows and surviving family members of the 343 firefighters who died that day.
Denis Leary
Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it. So I don't think I could successfully pull off being on a project like that without really losing my mind.
Denis Leary
You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the time to explain it to people, it's just part of what I do.
Denis Leary
The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them.
Denis Leary
I just think it's difficult for them to see the forest for the trees right now, which I can't blame them for, given the circumstances they found themselves in.
Denis Leary
I remember 9/11 we had 'Comics Come Home' about a month after those events. That night, even the comedians were concerned. Would the audience be ready to laugh? It was a release for everyone.
Denis Leary
The key thing is to get that one splash - that one song or that one video for a song - that catches people's eyes. Because it's all digital content now.
Denis Leary
Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction.
Denis Leary
This is the most exciting place in the world to live. Oh yeah! There are so many ways to die in New York City! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes, construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks, manhole covers blowing up and asbestos shooting into the sky.
Denis Leary
Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?
Denis Leary
I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will.
Denis Leary
I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare.
Denis Leary
