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If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.

Denis Leary

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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Probably
Special
Means
Mean
Work
Stand

More quotes by Denis Leary

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I try and shoot as often as I can, I cross shoot. I have at least two cameras rolling at the same time. So I'll have two actors or two sets of actors at a time so everybody's basically on camera. So when they improvise we have everybody's coverage. And you can then go in the editing room and find the energy still stays there.
Denis Leary
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Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it.
Denis Leary
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I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.
Denis Leary
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All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
Denis Leary
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Everybody's vying for people's attention in terms of eyeballs, earholes, and dollars.
Denis Leary
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If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it`s the NHL`s fault
Denis Leary
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You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the time to explain it to people, it's just part of what I do.
Denis Leary
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Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces.
Denis Leary
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That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.
Denis Leary
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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.
Denis Leary
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I'm in my truck talking to Jesus. And you can see a World Series ring on my right pinkie finger. But when I take my sunglasses off a second later, it's gone. It's the whole divine intervention thing. You know Jesus had something to do with them winning.
Denis Leary
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Julieanne Smolinksi has a history in rock journalism and she's a huge rock 'n' roll fan, and she was a huge fan of Ava (Elaine Hendrix) and Gigi (Elizabeth Gillies) and of the actresses. I was really lucky to get her, in between seasons on Grace and Frankie.
Denis Leary
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I'm a huge Kevin Youkilis fan.
Denis Leary
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There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance.
Denis Leary
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I studied acting in school and then of course couldn't get an acting job.
Denis Leary
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It's human nature for people to expect people to be what they see on the screen.
Denis Leary
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My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave.
Denis Leary
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My cousin Jerry Lucey and five other firefighters died in a warehouse fire in Worcester, Mass. - my hometown - right in the middle of our old neighborhood downtown when a homeless couple started a fire to keep warm and the entire building went up. My cousin died trying to save homeless people who had already left the building.
Denis Leary
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I'm really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen.
Denis Leary
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Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad
Denis Leary