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I would have to commit a crime and have cops chase me. That would be the only way to get me to jog five miles.

Denis Leary

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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Miles
Crime
Five
Way
Cops
Would
Cop
Chase
Commit

More quotes by Denis Leary

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People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes!
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Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.
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It's hard to have a film and television career and do music work at the same time.
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I like to give the actors freedom to take what we have on the page and improve on it. And they do that quite a bit.
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I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture.
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Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction.
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I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!
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What I've learned is that life is too short and movies are too long.
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Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad
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If you had no enemies, you had no fun.
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I went to school with Steven Wright who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought if these guys can do it then so can I.
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If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it`s the NHL`s fault
Denis Leary
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Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true.
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If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.
Denis Leary
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Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.
Denis Leary
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I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh.
Denis Leary
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You really want to have a back-up plan, so when you don't feel like acting, or you're getting older and settling down, you can produce your own stuff. So that's when I set about forming my own company and getting creative control.
Denis Leary
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All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
Denis Leary
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Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold.
Denis Leary
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When I first got famous, Greg Dulli was also just starting to cook with the Afghan Whigs, and because of the MTV awards I met Dave Grohl and Nirvana and all these rock and roll bands. So I had experience with what it was like when people were taking off at that time.
Denis Leary