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Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true.

Denis Leary

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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Actors
True
Every
Thinking
Thinks
Actor
Comedy

More quotes by Denis Leary

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I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli? Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.
Denis Leary
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I needed someone really intense, but also somebody with a lot of theatrical credibility.
Denis Leary
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Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?
Denis Leary
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I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.
Denis Leary
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You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.
Denis Leary
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Everybody's vying for people's attention in terms of eyeballs, earholes, and dollars.
Denis Leary
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I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare.
Denis Leary
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In addition to my cousin, there were 30 or 40 guys I grew up with who became firefighters as well. So, I've been around firefighters all my life.
Denis Leary
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Crisis doesn't create character it reveals it.
Denis Leary
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I'm really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen.
Denis Leary
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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.
Denis Leary
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I went to school with Steven Wright who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought if these guys can do it then so can I.
Denis Leary
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I'd love to do another television series. I really love the writing process, and as an actor I really like how much you get to examine in television.
Denis Leary
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That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.
Denis Leary
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Firefighters don't go on strike.
Denis Leary
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It's important to have your own space. I've never trusted people who do everything together. I call them Kool-Aid Couples, because it's like they drank the same Kool-Aid and it's drugged them into constantly gazing into each other's eyes.
Denis Leary
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Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual
Denis Leary
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My kids watch everything downloaded they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except FX makes the show that I see on my computer. So it's harder to get a show on the air, but at the same time, there are a lot of terrific shows.
Denis Leary
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White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.
Denis Leary
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Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have every other flavor but coffee-flavored coffee. They have mochaccino, frappaccino, cappuccino, al pacino...Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup.
Denis Leary