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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.

Denis Leary

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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Moment
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Money
Except
Reilly
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Believes

More quotes by Denis Leary

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Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.
Denis Leary
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Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold.
Denis Leary
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I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! He can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man!
Denis Leary
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I've only done two other TV shows [instead of Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll], one was Rescue Me and the other was a show called The Job, which was at ABC and only on for two seasons.
Denis Leary
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Worrying about tomorrow is the best way to screw up today.
Denis Leary
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The first movie I saw where it convinced me I could be an actor was 'Mean Streets,' so whenever I see Robert De Niro and he says, 'Hi, Denis,' it's still a really big deal.
Denis Leary
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I needed someone really intense, but also somebody with a lot of theatrical credibility.
Denis Leary
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Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it. So I don't think I could successfully pull off being on a project like that without really losing my mind.
Denis Leary
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I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids.
Denis Leary
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I obviously identify with the anti-authority figure. I've pretty much always had problems with authority, ever since I was a kid.
Denis Leary
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I'm a huge Kevin Youkilis fan.
Denis Leary
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I'm praying for 'Ice Age' 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. Because I really think we can run those characters into the '60s, and I'm talking the 1960s, you know? The Civil Rights Movement. That's what I'm praying for, because then I wouldn't have to do anything else.
Denis Leary
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With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head.
Denis Leary
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When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with No Cure For Cancer.
Denis Leary
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We drink and we die and continue to drink.
Denis Leary
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No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever.
Denis Leary
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You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the time to explain it to people, it's just part of what I do.
Denis Leary
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That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.
Denis Leary
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I like to give the actors freedom to take what we have on the page and improve on it. And they do that quite a bit.
Denis Leary
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The only difference between kids and jungle animals is pants. Kids wear them. Jungle animals don't.
Denis Leary