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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.

Denis Leary

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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
University Teacher
Voice Actor
Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
Moment
Bill
Away
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Moments
Exactly
Money
Except
Reilly
Important
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Stewart
Believe
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Really
Guy
Jewish
Always
Funny
Believes

More quotes by Denis Leary

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That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.
Denis Leary
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Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true.
Denis Leary
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Charlotte Rampling, when she was younger, looked exactly like my wife. That's one of the reasons that when I first saw my wife, my knees buckled. Based on her looks alone, she was already in my kitchen making eggs.
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Having dealt with a lot of real firefighters, I know there are a lot of guys who, for lack of a better term, become addicted to the grief because it has kept them connected to these guys that they felt responsible for having lost.
Denis Leary
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I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff.
Denis Leary
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I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh.
Denis Leary
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If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in.
Denis Leary
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You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the time to explain it to people, it's just part of what I do.
Denis Leary
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Crisis doesn't create character it reveals it.
Denis Leary
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I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains blown out all over. How could we change the channel after that?
Denis Leary
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It's hard to have a film and television career and do music work at the same time.
Denis Leary
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When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me.
Denis Leary
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Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool.
Denis Leary
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Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead - and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God.
Denis Leary
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With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head.
Denis Leary
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Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used.
Denis Leary
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I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again. I couldn't take it, OK!
Denis Leary
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I'm the Lord of the Dance! F-k Michael Flatley, it's me!
Denis Leary
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I really want to do a western film. It's one of my favorite movie genres of all time.
Denis Leary
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I like to give the actors freedom to take what we have on the page and improve on it. And they do that quite a bit.
Denis Leary