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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.
Denis Leary
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Denis Leary
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: August 18
Actor
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Television Actor
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Worcester
Massachusetts
Denis Colin Leary
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More quotes by Denis Leary
Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have every other flavor but coffee-flavored coffee. They have mochaccino, frappaccino, cappuccino, al pacino...Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup.
Denis Leary
I did 12 years with nuns, you know. So I came out of it going, like, 'I think Jesus is all right.' The rest of it I think stinks to the high heavens.
Denis Leary
I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh.
Denis Leary
Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.
Denis Leary
Sin is in, and so we begin.
Denis Leary
We've always talked about doing something else and Campbell Scott is always busy and I'm always busy. But when we came up with the idea of doing the potato famine as a hip hop musical, I wanted somebody who was going to bring gravity.
Denis Leary
I'm in my truck talking to Jesus. And you can see a World Series ring on my right pinkie finger. But when I take my sunglasses off a second later, it's gone. It's the whole divine intervention thing. You know Jesus had something to do with them winning.
Denis Leary
I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids.
Denis Leary
There's no male Oprah.
Denis Leary
When I go to Batman movies, I always think, 'Man, I would like to be a bad guy in a Batman movie.' especially as they got darker when they go to the Christian Bale era.
Denis Leary
I'm born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while.
Denis Leary
If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it`s the NHL`s fault
Denis Leary
Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction.
Denis Leary
You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.
Denis Leary
What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.
Denis Leary
I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies.
Denis Leary
Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.
Denis Leary
My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave.
Denis Leary
I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.
Denis Leary
I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!
Denis Leary