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I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Stand
Love

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
Demetri Martin
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You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
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The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
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Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
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At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
Demetri Martin
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My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'
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I just found out that I have more allies than America!
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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
Demetri Martin
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A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.
Demetri Martin
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I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. Keep sleeping. All right, perfect.'
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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
Demetri Martin
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When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.
Demetri Martin
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I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.
Demetri Martin
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I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
Demetri Martin
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Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.
Demetri Martin
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Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
Demetri Martin
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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.
Demetri Martin
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
Demetri Martin
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A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
Demetri Martin
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Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.
Demetri Martin