Quote

You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Number
Numbers
Millions
Thanks
Million

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.
Demetri Martin
Image
There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
Demetri Martin
Image
Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
Demetri Martin
Image
If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
Demetri Martin
Image
I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.
Demetri Martin
Image
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Demetri Martin
Image
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
Demetri Martin
Image
I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'
Demetri Martin
Image
I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.
Demetri Martin
Image
When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.
Demetri Martin
Image
Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.
Demetri Martin
Image
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
Demetri Martin
Image
Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.
Demetri Martin
Image
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
Demetri Martin
Image
It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
Demetri Martin
Image
I'm not a lawmaker, but I was thinking that if you have a really loud ring tone, maybe you should be stabbed in the ear?
Demetri Martin
Image
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.
Demetri Martin