Quote

I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Saying
Heard
Many
Thing
Really
Good
Checkers
Things
Train
Somebody

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'
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I never set out to do a sketch show.
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I need to develop some patience - immediately.
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I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.
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People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
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When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.
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I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
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It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
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I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
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I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.
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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
Demetri Martin
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If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.
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If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
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You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
Demetri Martin
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I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
Demetri Martin
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Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.
Demetri Martin
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I used to get bummed out when it rained then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
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It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.
Demetri Martin
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I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no chocohol. We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably over-workaholled.
Demetri Martin