Quote

I've learned something on the road, traveling around: state shapes. The easier it is to draw the shape of the state, the harder it is to live in that state. So, if you live in a regular polygon, get the hell outta there. You gotta move to a squiggly area. Culture's attracted to squiggles.

Demetri Martin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Something
Learned
Shape
Squiggles
Hell
Draws
Outta
State
Shapes
Attracted
Moving
Areas
Traveling
Culture
Road
Regular
Around
Harder
Gotta
States
Easier
Area
Live
Move
Draw

More quotes by Demetri Martin

Image
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
Demetri Martin
Image
To get strangers to hate you even faster, crank up the volume on that very interesting ringtone of yours.
Demetri Martin
Image
I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
Demetri Martin
Image
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
Demetri Martin
Image
I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
Demetri Martin
Image
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
Demetri Martin
Image
Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
Demetri Martin
Image
I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.
Demetri Martin
Image
Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.
Demetri Martin
Image
The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
Demetri Martin
Image
If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.
Demetri Martin
Image
My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
Demetri Martin
Image
I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.
Demetri Martin
Image
I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children.' I was like, 'That sounds like a fair trade - especially if they're crappy kids.'
Demetri Martin
Image
There's an old Russian saying that goes some way or another. I don't know it. I don't speak Russian. But sometimes I think about it and wonder if it's relevant to what I'm going through at the time. Probably not. I mean what do Russian know about hunger, anyway?
Demetri Martin
Image
I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.
Demetri Martin
Image
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin
Image
It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.
Demetri Martin
Image
I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
Demetri Martin