Quote

When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Something
Liked
Way
Dead
Would
Understand
Disapproval
Shows
Corpse
Someone
Corpses
Doe
Spinning
Persons
Grave
Person
Graves

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The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
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Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
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If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.
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The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
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A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.
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Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
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At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
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Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.
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I go the gym and I try to run on the treadmill and I listen to music but it doesn't motivate me enough. So I'm going to get a recording of a pack of wolves gaining on me. People would be like, 'Why is that guy crying on that treadmill over there?' 'I don't know, but he's been yelling, 'help' for like 20 minutes. He's getting a good workout.
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When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.
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I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
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It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
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I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
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Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
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I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
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