Quote

I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Book
Paper
Like
Objects
Books
Read
Flammable
Use
Napkins
Become
Pile
Stills
Object
Still
Warm

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I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
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My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
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Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
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I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
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The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.
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I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'
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Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.
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They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
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I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.
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I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.
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I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
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It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
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The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.
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I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.
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I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.
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It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.
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I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
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Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.
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Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.
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I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the crazy guy at law school, which is the guy who is not so much crazy as annoying.
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