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I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Funny
Daily
Making
Tough
Shows
Comedy
Care
Politics
Things
Chance
Time
Happy
Stewart
Think
Less
Relevant
Thinking
Show
Mostly
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Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.
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I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
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Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.
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A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
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In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.
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A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
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I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
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I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.
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I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
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What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.
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It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.
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When you're wearing an animal costume and something bad happens, your facial expression doesn't change. The animal is deadpan the whole time. If you're skiing in a gorilla suit and you fall, you just see a gorilla who has no emotion. It's just a stoic gorilla, wildly falling down a hill, out of control.
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To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
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If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
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When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.
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There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
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It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.
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I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.
Demetri Martin
