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I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Wish
Would
Comma
Dramatic
Started
Name
Names
More quotes by Demetri Martin
You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
Demetri Martin
At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
Demetri Martin
Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
Demetri Martin
The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
Demetri Martin
I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
Demetri Martin
I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
Demetri Martin
Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
Demetri Martin
Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.
Demetri Martin
When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
Demetri Martin
I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.
Demetri Martin
My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
Demetri Martin
When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.
Demetri Martin
I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
Demetri Martin
Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
Demetri Martin
I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.
Demetri Martin
Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.
Demetri Martin
I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.
Demetri Martin
It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
Demetri Martin
I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.
Demetri Martin
If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.
Demetri Martin
