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It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Impersonators
Elvis
Reincarnation
Interesting
Would
Impersonator
Reincarnated

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
Demetri Martin
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The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.
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I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
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I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children.' I was like, 'That sounds like a fair trade - especially if they're crappy kids.'
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
Demetri Martin
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I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.
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I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.
Demetri Martin
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I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.
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If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
Demetri Martin
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The earth without art is just eh.
Demetri Martin
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I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, Cool, that one works.
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A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.
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When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.
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Once I started to look i finally began to see.
Demetri Martin
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I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.
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I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.
Demetri Martin
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Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
Demetri Martin
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Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
Demetri Martin
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I never set out to do a sketch show.
Demetri Martin
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The sofa is the enemy of productivity.
Demetri Martin