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It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Elvis
Reincarnation
Interesting
Would
Impersonator
Reincarnated
Impersonators

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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
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I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.
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I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.
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I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.
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I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
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It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.
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To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.
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When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
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When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?
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I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
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We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.
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There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.
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When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.
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I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.
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I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.
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I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
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Last week I lost my temper in my karate class. Man, I'm not doing that again until I'm a black belt. Because I can tell you there's a difference between taking karate and receiving karate.
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You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
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For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
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A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.
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