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You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.

Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Disillusioned
Realize
Realizing
Alone
Thought
Really
Love

More quotes by Demetri Martin

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If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
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I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
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We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.
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If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
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When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
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If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
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Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.
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What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'
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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
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I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
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Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.
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Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.
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I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.
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A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.
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Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
Demetri Martin
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The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.
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Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.
Demetri Martin