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Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.
Demetri Martin
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Demetri Martin
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: May 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Demetri Evan Martin
Ten
Okay
Two
Sneezes
Earrings
Annoying
Bless
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I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.
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A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.
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I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. What do you do? I'm a match maker Aw, that's really romantic No, umm... I actually... never mind
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A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.
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I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
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I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
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Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.
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People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
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How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.
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